Through the Plaster Floor

Boredom is becoming

Distr(active)

even

the

clear

-est

path

ways

crumble into hot fruit topping

Pre(Fix)

At night I am Conquered by fear

I am not Consoled by pale moon, or whir of sleeping city

I am not Convinced by Sunshine on Sunday

Not fooled by Conjunctions of orange and white

Conspiring to promise light and then set into darkness, I Cry

Condolences to nations lay awake

Confident that they too

Cry for me

As I Contribute tears to sight of plaster ceiling

Concluding to soak myself and

Convince myself it’s raining

I hold precious Contraband and treasure the danger of who I am

When all is Concealed and wonder if I was

Confined to four walls would I

Continue having to

Con myself to sleep or has the (all too much) been a

home-grown Concept

Impound

In the moments that take me through a plaster floor that

I thought was solid

I trap myself

In the shipping box that goes nowhere

In a hollow room full of rubble

I roll like a silver tape spinning

In a square cassette box

I spin and play and sing whilst every

Inch of space closes but st-

Ill

I stretch, spending myself until

I snap, but

I could never reach the corners

I could never slow my spin at the sides

I (Isabella McKenzie-Sanchez) am a 21 year old female writer that has recently been focusing on my experience being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. I found through poetry I was able to organise and reflect on how I thought and felt about things, particularly through utilising procedural poetry. I then realised that whilst I was utilising poetry to punctuate my own thoughts, the way creativity functions within procedure is a brilliant metaphor for how neurodivergent people function within the world. This collection was written during the process of my diagnosis, they all utilise procedure 'rule before content' but have different rules.