Content warning: suicide and death

“Relocation”

I prefer to say

he took his own life.

To where exactly?

I like to think either

Fourth of July weekend

on Gull Lake or

the bachelor party trip

to Denver where

he enjoys restaurants

we didn’t have time for

and hikes those

Rainbow Mountains

we admired

yet never had time to climb.

Better yet,

he moved there for work,

growing old with kids

alongside the Rockies.

He would come back

on Christmas but only

to visit family because

he should be with them,

not alone in a pine box.

“St. Thomas on the Pines Cemetery”

I walk around the locked gate onto wet grass

in search of his face on headstones,

following bumblebees to fresh bouquets

but even they don’t have his name.

I text friends for directions, only mosquitos buzz by,

as gnats dance in light between oak trees

and ants read brass plates one letter at a time.

Before any local calls me out for trespassing,

I pace back to the lone car in the parking lot

with tennis shoe prints not far behind,

scratching red notifications I can’t answer back.

Will Neuenfeldt studied English at Gustavus Adolphus College and his poems are published in Capsule Stories, Months to Years, and Red Flag Poetry. He lives in Cottage Grove, MN, home of the dude who played Steven Stifler in those American Pie movies and a house Teddy Roosevelt slept in.